Marry a Muslim? Heck No!
While I was browsing for some articles online this morning, I came accross with this very interesting post which made me shocked and wondered why racism still exist until this days. I feel very sorry for this guy’s situation. Read on:
“As many of you know I am a muslim convert. I have a good job, good place to live and good deen. However when it comes to marriage, I dont want to marry a muslim. yes thats right!! But why you ask? Because in the Ummah their is to much racism and you have to be a rich person to get married. Let me explain…………………….. before you jump on my back.
I went to this brother and asked him that I was interested in his daughter. I had just graduated from college, had and still have a good job. however this brother said NO! I asked him why and he said that I was not arab and that I did not fit the qualtfications for his daughter. you have to make $100,000 a year he said, and that I was not Egyptian.
Well I thanked him and went off on my way. I tried about 9 other brothers and the answer was the same. No no no no no!!! you are not arab, pakistani, Indian etc, and you do not make $80,000 and up.So thats it I have had enough, forget marrying a muslim!!!!!! To much racism and high expictations. I make a good living to provide for a family, but because of my race I was denied by “so called muslims”. And this is the view of the majority of muslims around the world unfortunatly.
I have decided to look for a Christian or a Jew to marry. It is not forbidden for me, and the intermarriage racism that once existed in the christian/jewish majority is now almost gone. not totally, but better then 40 years ago.
Todays muslims are more worried about preseving their racial blood or nationality, then letting a good muslim marry his/her daughter. This disgusts me, but it is the truth…….” [link]
It is sad to think that some people are only thinking about wordly things but I think NOT ALL MUSLIM FAMILIES ARE LIKE THAT, that’s what I’m sure of.
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April 24, 2008 at 1:22 pm
Hmm… It doesn’t have to do with religion at all, these are “social standards” – seems to me like this guy has an issue – takes one to see one they say so he’s being a racist when he sez marrying a non muslem is cheaper to him !!!!
April 24, 2008 at 10:31 pm
Nothing to do with muslims. Its to do with cultural issues. He can easily marry a muslim girl form his country. Cultural again. Think about it before coming to a weird conclusion
April 24, 2008 at 11:28 pm
it isn’t about Islam. it’s about countries’ social life.
April 25, 2008 at 12:01 am
Some folks is picky. I hope that things work out for you.
April 25, 2008 at 12:01 am
In the US we seem to be on the defensive about race. There are many factors in play here, and many may have to do with you. The way you look at yourself, your character, others may not see you the way you see yourself. Having said that, I want to add that in Arab societies it is extremely hard to get married now, even if you’re Arab, unless you are doing very well. Many prospective Arab men are not married because of this. Of course, this is not the criteria in Islam. The priority for marriage has been set by the prophet Muhammad (pace be upon him) when he said that marry someone first for their religion, just as you have pointed that you have a good Deen (faith). Also, preferring someone to marry your daughter from your own social status and cultural background is not racism. It helps in keeping cultural and social differences at bay after marriage and avoid problems that may occur after the “magic” has subsided. Also, when you marry in any Eastern culture, you are not just marrying a girl, you are marrying their entire family. If you belong to a well-to-do family, would you want your dughter to spend her life in dire straits with someone who is struggling? Financial weakness many times affects marriages, but not always as this also depends on how a couple understand and are willing to live with each other. Any marriage counselor will tell you that. This is a complex issue and cannot just be dismissed for racism. Inter-cultural marriages are not common place in any culture, although it may be more prevalent in the US because of the multitude of cultures living and working together.
April 25, 2008 at 12:33 am
Can you post a reference to this article? Where did you find it posted?
Thanks.
April 25, 2008 at 2:16 am
pity on him..urm.. can u provide us the link of this story?
tq
April 25, 2008 at 8:10 am
This kind of bigotry does exist in the Muslim community, but to be honest, it is no different than in other communities. It is not an Islamic trait, but in fact cultural, and cultural practices, whether local or from other places determine people’s attitudes and behaviours much more than religion.
The is a famous saying of the Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) that says you marry a person for their beauty (looks), wealth, family/lineage or their religion. The best of those is to marry for their religion.
i.e. find someone of good faith and use that as the chief criteria and other materialistic things are subordinate to that. The religion is clear, but it is people’s behaviours that are the problem.
April 25, 2008 at 10:19 am
yes..i agree with u..not all muslim families like that..
April 27, 2008 at 5:23 am
that’s news to me… i did not know that part of the muslim…
April 27, 2008 at 11:08 am
Thanks for all your comments, I agree with you all that it has nothing to do with religion but sad to think that most muslims in any part fo the world are doing it, in our country some muslim gents preferred to marry christian ladies because they cannot afford to pay the “mahr” or dowry for the muslim ladies. As far as I knew the prophet PBUH said the ladies with low “mahr” will get the higher status in the the day of judgement. (Correct me guys if I’m wrong or misinfomed).
To those who requested the link for this story, you can read it here http://www.islamicboard.com/new-muslims/54803-marry-muslim-heck-no.html
June 4, 2008 at 12:42 pm
That is so wrong that happened to you, islam doesnt say that , there is no differences in islam concerning race , caste , creed or culture .. people you asked about thier daughters were not thinkin of islam but follow culture much more sternly than the religion.i wish people jus start following islam and donot conserve themselves with the norms and culture.may you get a very devoted and sincere wife (Ameen).people can be wrong even being muslims or the followers of any other religion , may Allah guide them all.
June 29, 2008 at 7:03 am
hummm.pity well if i was a guy i will agree. cuz im half arab n black n understand the mind of these ppl. rlly it has notin 2 do wit islam dough. well allh yahdi nasi jameean!
July 6, 2008 at 9:46 pm
noo .. its not a muslim family issue .. more like a cultural to me
but yes i agree that it is wrong for some muslim family’s to ask for an impossible amount of money for marriage.. but not all muslim families are like that!
and i think that its kinda wrong to think about not marrying a muslim woman since u r muslim !!
a christian wife might influence ur kids in future and they might not will to be muslim themselves ! i don’t think u’ll want that to happen..